If you never feel good enough

I juggle a lot of responsibilities.

I’ve got mouths to feed, errands to run and bills to pay.

While trying to manage my time well, I have a question constantly lingering in the back of my mind.

“Am I good enough?”

At times, I work hard for my family because I know I love them, but other times, my insecurities about whether or not I’m a good enough parent or spouse makes me feel more disconnected from them. 

Read this: For the parent who feels guilty

It doesn’t help we get exposed to over 10,000 advertisements a day receiving all sorts of messages saying we need to look or act a certain way to be better.

On top of that, I’ve grown up with all sorts of pressure from my peers, culture and family, which made me feel I had to live up to a certain standard in order to fit in and belong. 

I did learn to fit in, but I never felt like I belonged.

Things were not getting any better in the digital age we live in. It’s harder than ever to be vulnerable and authentic. 

We live in an era where we can portray a better version of ourselves through social media. People only post about the fun things and filter out the boring parts, which easily made me compare myself with others. I ended up wondering why my life wasn’t as interesting. 

During a marriage counseling session, there was something the therapist told us that has always stuck with me.

He explained our relationship needed to start as a safe space where we acknowledged each other the way we were, not the way we wanted each other to be.

This was when I realized all my life I was desperate for a safe space to be myself.

During the time of Christ, the Pharisees were spreading the message to people that they needed to meet a certain set of high standards in order to be considered good enough for God’s kingdom. 

Christ came down to teach the people “No, it’s not these standards that make you good enough for me, you are good enough for me the way you are.”

This was the scandalous grace being given even to the lowest people of society. Jesus continued to hang out with prostitutes and tax collectors to spread the message that they are enough for God’s love and Christ has come to save them. 

It was Christ that gave us our salvation, not some rules or standards we had to abide by.

I realized this was the purpose of God’s grace. In a world filled with so much pressure and standards, God was giving a sinner like me his grace in order to tell me “You’re safe with me. You can be yourself. I’m here for you.”

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesian 2:8-9

I look at this famous verse again and now it has a different meaning for me altogether. God wanted me to know with Him, I’m enough, and that alone gives me the courage to be myself to the world.  

Now read this: Detoxing your faith one lie at a time


Eugene K. Choi is a talent activation coach who helps individuals discover real breakthroughs in their lives by finding the zone where their passions and talents intersect. You can download his free guide, Four Steps to Instantly Jump Start Your Best Life Ever for practical methods to connect with your calling. 


 

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