At the end of a difficult day, when our weaknesses have been underlined AND highlighted in the ways we have parented our kids, it can be all too easy to believe the lie that a bad day makes us a bad parent. So if you’ve had some difficult days lately, and the enemy has tempted you to think that anyone and everyone could be doing a better job parenting your kids than you, can I encourage you today.
I believe this is what God wants you to know when you fear you are damaging your kids and disappointing God.
You – yes YOU – are God’s deeply loved daughter or son. You have been chosen and adopted as His child (Ephesians 1:4–5; Galatians 4:5). You are marked by His love. Not by your mistakes, not by your failures, not by the sins you’ve committed or the sins committed against you, but by His love. You bring your heavenly Father great joy. ⠀
I know this can be SO hard to believe on the days when we have let anger or fear or shame win in the ways we have led our kids. I know. But friend, because of Jesus, our good days don’t make us more lovable to God and our difficult days don’t make us less lovable.
I’m not suggesting that our sin and rebellion don’t break the heart of God. They absolutely do. But because of Jesus, our sin and rebellion don’t make us less lovable to Him. (Romans 5:9–11). That’s the difference. And it’s a BIG difference.
We need to know—really know—that Jesus loves us and His grace is for us, even on our worst day! Because when we reject God’s grace for us, we are much more likely to come DOWN ON our kids with guilt and shame rather than come ALONGSIDE them with grace. We say things like “How could you?” when really, what we need to say is “Me too.” We are FREE to say “I know why you mess up. I mess up too. Thank God for Jesus.”⠀
Let’s Remember what Jesus has done for us, Receive His grace, and Rely on His Spirit to produce love, patience, kindness, and gentleness in our parenting. (Gal 5:16-23)
Now read this: The most important thing your child needs to hear from you
This post is a brief excerpt from Jeannie Cunnion’s book, Mom Set Free, and was republished with permission.
Jeannie Cunnion is the author of Parenting the Wholehearted Child and Mom Set Free, and a frequent speaker at women’s conferences and parenting events around the country. Her passion is encouraging women to live in the freedom for which Christ has set us free – a message her own heart needs to be reminded of daily. Jeannie and her husband Mike have four boys who range from teenager to toddler.