Dear Husband: This is how our marriage wins

This post originally appeared as an exclusive article in Kirk Cameron’s new community: The Campfire. To join, sign up here.

The other night, it didn’t feel like we were a team. I thought you were against me, didn’t care how I felt and were being inconsiderate. But then I took a step back, reevaluated our conflict, and realized you were in fact for me. Pride told me otherwise.

The truth is we’re not against each other. No matter what lies we feed on or how Satan tempts us, God has put us together to lift one another up when we’re weak, not to tear the other person down. This God-ordained union of marriage is for our good, not to make us miserable.

Our relationship won’t always be smooth sailing, but it will be sanctifying. Battling selfishness is never roses and sunshine. Our marriage at times will expose anger, hurts, habits, our past, brokenness, idols, stubbornness, and much more. It will reveal areas in our hearts we never knew existed. It will push us beyond our limits – teaching us sacrifice, compromise, patience, trust, dying to ourselves, perseverance, and more.

All the more- this is why we have to be a team. Because that’s exactly what we are. Marriage is too hard not to work together. It shouldn’t be a constant tug-a-war match between our strong wills, but we know that sometimes it just is. We’re sinners in need of a Savior.

But we know we’re called to be a team – where we root for one another, cheer each other on, bandage each other up when one is badly cut or bruised. We train, endure pain, and discipline together. We share comradery and a bond like no other. When we’re hurt, we get in the game for the other person. We’re patient in failure and when we lose, we work harder and try to win the next time. When we fail miserably, we pray for each other and forgive.

Our marriage wins when we walk the path of life together- not separate in our own different worlds merely acting like roommates. Our marriage wins when our hands are locked together, aware of the potential dangers on our path that try to entangle us.

We’re winning when our hearts are unified as one flesh.

We can’t learn to love each other in our own strength either. It has to be God’s love working through us – molding and transforming our hardened hearts. I know my heart needs change the most.

Thank you for holding me up when I’m weak. For helping me grow even when I’ve resisted and my nasty pride wins. You’ve led me well these last thirteen years.

My feelings and emotions aren’t always trustworthy, but I know deep down in my heart, that you’re by my side and want the absolute best for me as your wife.

Thank you for helping me work through the pain and not giving up on me when I struggle. You’ve shown me the love of Christ in a tangible, real way.

I’m winning when I’m with you and there’s no one else I’d rather have by my side.

This post originally appeared as an exclusive article in Kirk Cameron’s new community: The Campfire. To join, sign up here.

Samantha Krieger is a pastor’s wife, mother to four, and writer in rural Colorado. She’s the author of Quiet Time: A 30-day Devotional Retreat for Moms in the Trenches. To read more from Samantha, visit her blog: She also enjoys connecting with readers on Facebook and Instagram.

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