When you look at Korie Robertson, star of “Ducky Dynasty” and wife of Willie Robertson, you may be tempted to think that she has the perfect life and that everything has always been great. Far from it. In a new blog post she explains just how difficult things have been, but also the one thing that helped transform her “marriage, our family, and probably the trajectory of our lives.”
“I remember one time when Willie said my negativity was sucking the life out of him,” Korie admits on her daughter Sadie’s Live Original site. “Well, not exactly those words, or it might have been those words. It was close. He said it plainly enough that it hurt and it stuck with me, and I decide to change.”
” I had everything I ever wanted, but I was tired. The words coming out of my mouth to Willie, were only reflecting the last part of what I just told you about my life back then,” she adds. “I was telling Willie all of the negative things that happened in the day instead of the positive ones, and my words were sucking the life out of him–and me, I just hadn’t realized it yet. I decided I’d better change. It didn’t happen all at once, but I worked on it.”
So how did she change it? She started consciously focusing on what was going right:
I started mentioning the good things more. Welcoming him with a big hug and kiss. I was determined to tell him all the fun things the kids did that day, the nice customer service email I received, and the great new VBS I’d found for the church. This wasn’t natural at first, it was intentional. Even if I didn’t feel like it, even when I was tired, I did it. And I promise you, it changed things. It changed me. I was a happier person. I felt better throughout the day–had more energy, smiled more. I noticed the good things, the blessings. I was living life with gratitude, instead of complaints. It changed us.
We were happier and more connected, but It didn’t change the difficulties in our lives. It didn’t take away the hard parts. The approximately 42.5 hours it took to get all our little ones fed, bathed, teeth brushed, read to and sung to every night. It didn’t make them stop arguing, dumping out all the cereal, or falling on the floor in a temper tantrum when they didn’t get what they wanted. It didn’t change that Willie and I sometimes argued about stupid things, or that my dad was going through chemotherapy treatments, or that there was a pile of bills to be paid. There didn’t seem to be enough time in the day to fill all the orders or answer all of the emails–and I still needed to find two more teachers for this Sunday, and the inspection sticker on the car had expired, and on and on. Here’s the thing, though, it changed me. It changed our marriage, our family, and probably the trajectory of our lives. I truly think it was that monumental.
Need help finding the positivity in your own marriage and family? Click here.
She concludes by references Philippians 4:8: “I truly believe that putting this into practice will change you and those around you.”
Korie’s not alone. Chelsea Cameron makes a similar point in THE HEART OF FAMILY when she talks about the importance of “finding the good.” Take a look below (and you can see the whole thing by signing up here):