I’ll start out by saying I’m not a young woman. I’m also married. So when I first read Sadie Robertson’s new blog, I wasn’t reading it through the eyes of someone that was her target audience. But here’s the thing: I’m the father of a young daughter, and as soon as I finished reading Sadie’s words, I hit “save,” because it’s an article that I want my little girl to read someday.
Here’s the gist.
Yesterday, Sadie launched a new blog as part of her Live Original speaking tour. Her inaugural post got very real, very quick as she talked about her past failed relationship. The main point? Culture teaches young women that being “passionate,” aka fighting hard and making up, is good, right, and expected. But there’s something better.
“[My boyfriend and I] were so … ‘passionate’ – and to me, it seemed like that couldn’t possibly be a negative thing, because I heard the word passion at church all the time,” she writes. “That was a huge LIE and created so much confusion for me. I thought our connection was so deep because we created this false love for ourselves that said it was okay to constantly fight like cats and dogs, scream hateful words and cry till our eyes were swollen. All we’d have to do afterwards is share a kiss, make up and then boom – our relationship would be stronger than ever.”
“You can go with the media’s version of passion, but I’m speaking from experience here when I say that even if it survives and the relationship lasts, you will be living for temporary moments of happiness and gratification instead of true joy,” she adds.
Of course, relationships require work. And they aren’t always “fun.” But Sadie notes there’s a line that crosses into “unhealthy,” and young women are increasingly being taught to push that line:
If you experience moments of happiness and little things that help you hold on, but then find yourself experiencing pain that goes beyond what is healthy in a relationship, then you are living with a false passion. Although it is normalized in our society, I want you to know that fear, jealously, pain, selfishness, impurity, manipulation and degrading comments are all UNHEALTHY components in a relationship and should not be considered normal.
After another unhealthy fight, Sadie turned to God’s word to rediscover what true love and passion meant. What she found changed her outlook forever:
Ever since then, I have noticed that the word passion has a new meaning in my life. It is a passion that is pure, and it is the very thing that fuels me to press past the feelings that rise up and make me fear the future. When I find myself in a season of singleness, and jealously arises when I see someone I once loved with a new girlfriend, I don’t have to be envious or afraid. God gives me the strength to pursue my dreams and the purpose He planned for me long ago.
“This kind of love is what I am passionate about,” she concludes. “It makes me smile when I wake up and encourages me to pray before I sleep. I do not search for perfection, I search for someone who is led by the perfect love of our Jesus. I pray for him daily. I cannot wait to bring Godly passionate love into a dull world.”
I pray my daughter comes to the same conclusion. But I know full well that sometimes, like Sadie, she may have to experience it for herself. But thanks to Saidie’s words, maybe — just maybe — she won’t have to.
If you’re the parent, grandparent, aunt, or uncle of a girl, it’s worth passing on.