Josh Burnette owns a Chick-fil-A franchise and hires A LOT of young people, especially high schoolers. And he’s seen the immaturity and perpetual adolescence that is plaguing the next generation. Especially when it comes to dating, relationships, and sex.
That’s why he wrote a book called “Adulting 101,” where he helps young people grow up. The book contains everything from relationships advice, to tips on time management, to how to save for a house. In the chapter “It’s Complicated,” he details the 10 lies he sees young people around him believing about dating, relationships, and sex, as well as the truths that counter the lies.
Lie #1: Sex is just not that big of a deal. It’s simply a physical act between two consenting people.
Truth: “Neuroscientific evidence would support that sex cannot be separated from the whole person (despite the suggestions of our culture).”
Lie #2: Unconventional sex is normal and necessary to really be fulfilled.
Truth: “Pornography has … distorted and ruined sex for countless numbers of people. Some have lived in a make-belief porn world for so long that the real thing doesn’t match up anymore.”
Lie #3: God, if you believe in him, disapproves of sex.
Truth: “The Bible talks about sex and sexuality and … is clear that God invented sex.”
Lie #4: If you just find the right person, then everything will be all right. How do you know if you found the right person? Chemistry.
Truth: “You are more than you’re chemistry. You were designed to find your greatest earthly bonding experience through sex in a committed marriage, not in ‘casual’ sex.”
Lie #5: Practice makes perfect. You should try to have sex as much and as often as possible.
Truth: “All research points to better marriages among individuals who wait to have sex until marriage. Science shows that those who abstain from sex until marriage significantly add to their chances of avoiding problems and finding happiness.”
Lie #6: You should definitely have sex with someone you’re considering marrying because you want to make sure that you “connect” on that level.
Truth: “There is no test-driving in the sexual arena. If you try to test-drive with someone, you’ll be connected to that person.”
Lie: #7: You were meant to be with one person, a soul mate. And your quest in life is to find that person.
Truth: “According to Eric Metaxas, ‘The soul mate idea suggest that marriage is all about me, that I need to find someone who understands me perfectly, who makes me happy. Marriage should be about finding someone you can make happy.”
Lie #8: This part of your life isn’t worth fighting for; it’s not really worth all the effort and trouble.
Truth: “On the contrary, a lifelong commitment to another person is so integral, so deep, so intimate, and so vulnerable that it is worth whatever it takes to do the right thing.”
Lie #9: You should decide who you’re supposed to marry and let that guide your dating life.
Truth: “The correct question is if, not who. … Marriage isn’t for everyone, and neither is the single life.”
Lie #10: Each person gets one chance, and if you mess up, that’s it.
Truth: “No matter where you’ve been on this issue, you can reset where you’re going. An any moment you can start over. You can even begin to think differently about sex and make different choices.”
Recently, Burnette joined The Campfire podcast to talk about the lies and what really motivated him to write about them. You can listen for free below, and then you can claim a free 30-day pass to The Campfire podcast to listen to the whole thing here.
You can pick up a copy of “Adulting 101,” which makes a great gift for graduates, here.
